#17

In Oregon the line between a hick beard and a hipster beard is thin but definite.

#16

Procrastination Rule: Before beginning any school project or study for any test you must first calculate what your final grade will be if you don't.

Kimism #15

"I keep forgetting that I have Mt. Dew already poured into my cup. So I see it and I'm like "What?!? This is awesome!" Short-term memory loss is the key to happiness." But mostly Mt. Dew is the key to EVERYTHING. 

Kimism #14

"That voice you hear in your head telling you to sit next to the cute boy? That's your vagina talking." If you don't recognize it you probably should get in better touch with your vagina...

Kimisim #13

"Uteruses (Uteri? Uterpaedes?) are bitches."

Kimism #12

"When in doubt, stick your hand in."

Kimism #11

"I could be a minimalist in everything except for books and food."