#17

In Oregon the line between a hick beard and a hipster beard is thin but definite.

#16

Procrastination Rule: Before beginning any school project or study for any test you must first calculate what your final grade will be if you don't.

Kimism #15

"I keep forgetting that I have Mt. Dew already poured into my cup. So I see it and I'm like "What?!? This is awesome!" Short-term memory loss is the key to happiness." But mostly Mt. Dew is the key to EVERYTHING.